Here’s something I put together a few years ago and share with father’s to be.
I even sent it to someone a few weeks ago before their second kid and he responded with, “You don’t realize how much you forget from the first one!”
DTB = Daddy to Be
MTB = Mommy to Be
Here’s the culmination of several weeks of random notes. It’s all, “for what it’s worth”. And finally after 30 days w/ the new guy, I realize that what worked for the first, doesn’t mean it’ll work for the second. “Every kid is unique”
Pre-Hospital:
- Things for DTB to bring:
- Sweatshirt/sweater – MTB will probably be very warm after delivery, so the room ends up being quite cold.
- Pillow, blanket – check out the facility ahead of time regarding where you’ll be sleeping. It’s not the best. They may have a thermarest-type camping mat that you can put over the top of the ‘bed’ for yourself. (or consider bringing one if you camp… May look strange bringing it in, but will make it more comfortable).
- Check to see what they offer for food for you. Cafeteria? Room service? A fridge to store stuff? McDonalds? (Or try to schedule family visits to include food delivery.) 2023 Update: Uber Eats makes this less of an issue.
- For MTB:
- They tell you to bring a pillow… You may or may not use it while there. But, if you do end up with a C-Section, you’ll want the pillow for the drive home – it’s not fun. Make certain you time the pain medication to be at the right time to get her through the car ride home.
- Do something nice for the nurses:
- Ask who the “head nurse” is. Figure out a nice way to tell them ‘thanks’ (e.g. a card). Ordering lunch for them also goes a long way. If it’s a huge floor of nurses, might not be practical…
- I approached it by finding who the Head Nurse was. Telling her how thankful we were for their support and help. And then kept it simple as, “I was going to order lunch for myself, but thought I’d order food for everyone else… how would Pizza sound? I figured I’d grab a few pieces” ~3 large pizzas, a couple of two litter bottles, and plates. Pretty simple. Include in a “Thank you Card, from room #XXX”, and put it at the nursing station. J.
- First time around, we had lots of nurses stopping in and saying, “Thanks”
- Second time around we actually got a “Thank you card” back from all the nurses signed!
- A lot of people I think take them for granted…
Hospital
- Things to grab before leaving:
- Extra ‘hats’. Make certain you leave w/ at least two of the baby hats. They do not have any tags in them, and they are soft. They’re not the ‘prettiest things’, if that matters – but we found that when we put what we thought was a ‘nice warm hat’ on our baby daughters head, she freaked out.
- “Chucks” – the are the plastic/cloth absorbent pad that is blue and about 2’ x 4’. (They’ll probably place them under MTB at the hospital…). They work great to cut in half and put on the changing table for the first few weeks when you’re home. (It takes a while to get used to how fast you have to get another diaper underneath the kid. These ‘chucks’ are great, since you just throw them out once their dirty – rather than having to wash another changing pad cover.
- “Swaddle Sack” – if they have them, it’s not usually something you get for free, but take note of which one/brand, and strongly consider buying that same one (Hospital gift shop?). That first night home you’ll appreciate having things the same as they were in the hospital.
- Other items to buy that you might have overlooked. (They’re not the ‘cute’ baby items)
- Gerber “Kimono” top, that cover the babies hands so they can’t scratch themselves – they’ll probably have this type of top at the hospital for the kid as well. They’re good because they also cover their nails.
- “Mittens” so the baby doesn’t scratch themselves. (Maybe you already got a pair as a baby shower gift. Usually something you don’t think about… we forgot for Justin, so I ran out the next day to buy some, after using socks…)
Post Hospital
- House: Apparently it’s best of the baby to sleep in ~68 degrees. (May want to consider a space heater to keep the room that warm).
- Burping – Do not under-estimate the discomfort the kid experiences (and hence the noise and fussiness from them) if they haven’t burped post feeding. Give it a ‘good effort’ before putting them down.
- Happiest baby on the block: Worked GREAT with our first kid from the beginning.
- 5 S’s, from the happiest baby on the block: (there is a 15 minute video that I recommend.)
- Swaddle
- Side
- Shuffle
- Shush
- Suck
- The second kid, insisted on having his hands to self sooth for the first few weeks. Now a 1month swaddle him completely again.
- Miracle Blanket for swaddling – http://www.miracleblanket.com/ (yes, it’s basically a straitjacket)
- Nursing:
- Get a “boppy”
- Per my wife: remember to always use Lanolin.
- Later in the nursing, cabbage leaves are effective for soothing discomfort. (yes, cabbage leaves). [[very odd, I know]]
- Hopefully everything goes well. As an FYI: formula takes a little longer to digest, and can be more filling… So we waited a few weeks to make certain J was ‘latching on’ well. Then introduced formula at night – it helped him, and then you, get some more sleep. It’s definitely cheating – but getting another hour straight of sleep is pretty nice 🙂
- Raffi: both our kids have loved his music. I suggest picking up a the albums.
- Diapers: We really like the Pampers swaddlers. They now have a yellow line that turns blue when they’re wet. Great product! BUT you go through a significant number of them… Sams Club has them at a good price.
- You never know how each kid will do…
<<< after thoughts >>>
Additional items that aren’t listed above:
- For in the future, Amy really liked the ‘Simplicity Parenting‘ book/approach. This item can wait for a few years of course 🙂
- Merino Wool pajama’s are great: Research the importance of warmth for babies.
- I’m a big fan of Osteopathic manipulation. I’d strongly recommend getting in to get aligned.
- Other music options as kids get a little older (3+): “Okie Dokie Brothers”, “20 Trucks”
